Sunday, April 29, 2012

In where I am a complete hypocrite.

Fucking commercials. (I know, we've been over this.) I have to tell you something. I bought something SOLELY on the commercial. OH MY GOD MY SHOULDERS ARE SO LIGHT RIGHT NOW!

You will usually find me kvetching about the crap they advertise on TV, or more so that the commercials are crap, and what douchenugget CEO signed off on THAT to promote their product? I mean, the majority of commercials could have been written by my two year old and been loads more effective and entertaining. Er, no offense to any advertising folks out there. Actually, total offense. If you are responsible for shit like the TaxMasters, J.G. Wentworth, 1-800 I have mesothelioma or a transvaginal mesh because my uterus fell out and I want a lawyer commercials - you, sir, are an asshole. OH MY GOD MY SHOULDERS ARE EVEN LIGHTER! I DID NOT KNOW THAT WAS POSSIBLE! WHOO!

Anyway, so I bought something just because of the commercial. Not even really because of the commercial, but because of the ridiculously catchy ditty they sing. It is so catchy, in fact, that even the Preteen sings it when it comes on, and we have actions for it. Yep, I'm talking about Miller 64. (I know, I totally named dropped in the hope that someone will read this and send me a shit ton of free beer. I ain't too proud to beg, y'all.) THAT COMMERCIAL WORMED ITS WAY INTO MY BRAIN AND MADE ME BUY THE BEER! And yes, I hummed the song in the beer aisle, and did the actions - which consist of swinging my arm back and forth in front of me, pretending I'm holding a big ass mug of brewski. (I also have no shame.)

PS - I like the beer. But there's not many I don't like. And the fact that it's only 64 calories per bottle just means I can eat more Nutella, since evidently it's not good for you?! W.T.F.


  1. A commercial has to be evocative and for the love of all that is good...don't make me wonder what you are selling!

    I want to be one of those people with the Dr. Pepper-y shirts.
    I want to play with the Clydesdales.
    Chester the Cheetah is wicked cool.

    I have apparently not seen the 64 ad, but I don't drink Miller. I also don't eat nutella, eep!


  2. Wait! Since when is Nutella NOT good for you??

    And I am SO guilty of this. Not 5 minutes ago, while watching Kung Fu Panda on TV, a commercial comes on for some type of girly spa foot pedicure thing filled with these little water filled rubber beads. Both my 6 year old AND me looked at each other and were like "that looks like if feels awesome. I want that!" I am such a good example for my children!

  3. Anything that enables you to eat more nutella is a gift from God. WWJD? He'd eat more fucking nutella!

  4. And now you have just made me wonder if I should buy a Miller 64. I can have two beers in the place of one, which really means, I can now drink a six pack in one sitting! Sold!

  5. What is this new fangled beer you speak of? I have been away from the states too long. I can only sigh and assume that it is cold.
    I cannot get my kids to eat nutella. More for me I guess!