*Our story begins last night during dinner. After staring at me for several minutes with a WTF look on his face, Hubs decides to speak:
Hubs: Kelly, you really need to start taking better care of your stuff! You have a huge scratch on your glasses!
Me: *disgruntled stinkeye/pretends to not hear him, while thinking, "Oh fuck right off, are you my dad???*
*Fast forward to 0453 this morning. Phone rings. It is Hubs.
Hubs: Could you look in the garage/driveway to see if there's a pair of socks out there? They aren't in the car, and I had stuck my iPod in it.
Me: Sure. Let me go get the flashlight.
Me: There's nothing here. Maybe you should take better care of your stuff?