I'm no Jack Handey.

It's a struggle to think deep.  I'd rather be the snarky, sarcastic person I really am.  Interesting, since I'm working on my doctorate and I'm being forced to I am having conversations about theory and theorists and assorted other boring dry topics.  I have a hard time not swearing in front of my kids.  I don't, well, unless it's absolutely necessary to get the point across to a 10 year old who thinks she's smarter than me (SHE'S NOT, in case there was any confusion).  I'm an amazing housekeeper as evidenced by this picture:

Do you like the "I'm the KING, bitches!  DO MY BIDDING, MINIONS!" look he's giving those poor toys?  (I think my favorite part of the picture, besides his rapidly swinging feet, is the faceplanted bunny.  With his ass in the air.  Poor, poor bunny.  We know where you rank in this society.)

I think I've created a monster.  Which I'm really not too concerned about.  I hate the fact that there are requirements to get into Kindergarten.  I want my kids to be as carefree as I was as a kid.  I didn't go to preschool and I still skipped second grade.  I don't use Purell, I didn't disinfect every bottle, he puts shit in his mouth from off the floor constantly, and he's still alive so far.  He has about four words, he runs around like a monkey, he faceplanted off the couch TODAY, I found him chewing on the dog's rawhide chew this morning, but dammit, he's a happy, hilarious kid.  And what more could I ask for than that?

Ugh, this turned into something I didn't mean for it to, but that's okay.  I guess it needed to be said.  ps - I'm down 25.2 lbs as of this morning.  TAKE THAT, FAT!