Friday, May 20, 2011

In the event that I evaporate tomorrow and you don't...

Wow.  What does one do before the end of the world?  Do you go crazy and spend all of your money because, surely, IT won't evaporate too, so go crazy!  Booze, drugs, hookers, what have you - go wild!  Run to Vegas!  Get married for less than 55 hours to your friend from 3rd grade.  Call your car loan/student loan/boob job loan people and say "SUCK IT, CREDITORS!  I'M POOFIN' TOMORROW!"

All great options.  I, on the other hand, went to Sam's just in case I'm not one of the lucky ones - ya know, might need some food, since the rioters are going to go bat shit crazy tomorrow at noon (FACEBOOK TOLD ME SO), got caught up on the blogs I follow, and tried to keep my kid from scaling the walls.  Well, two out of three ain't bad...

Anyway, I thought, you know, just in case I'm one of the chosen few, I'd better let everyone know just how much you mean to me.  So, without further adieu, here it is:

Thank you for all the laughs, tears, and other assorted memories that I can't really recall.  Feel free to loot my house, but only if you see my unnecessary clothes laying on the lawn.  Chances are, if my clothes aren't out there, they're on my body, and I didn't get picked in the lottery to go spend eternity naked, riding unicorns and sliding down rainbows.  Cheers!


  1. I should probably hit up Costco this afternoon just in case. I wouldn't be shocked if I'm not one of the selected peeps headed to the party in the sky.

    Yeah, I'll be laughing Sunday morning when everyone who sold all their belongings or quit making payments on thier stuff wake up and everything is exactly the same as it was on Saturday.

  2. What I find hysterical is that this guy predicted this to happen in 1994 also. Don't you lose a little creditability when your first prediction of the end of the world is an epic fail?

  3. I made it all by myself! :)