Insomnia, you're a dirty whore.

I go through phases occasionally I sleep like crap.  For years, either I can't get to sleep, or I fall asleep and wake up 37983749 times a night, or I just don't sleep.  Tonight, I just don't sleep.  Caffeine usually doesn't affect me; maybe it's the chocolatey goodness of the new k-cups I got today (zomg coffee that tastes like German chocolate cake and chocolate donuts, WUT?!) that have me on hyperalert, or it is sheer guilt that I worked on an assignment for TWO hours and got NOTHING accomplished except that I finally figured out Pandora.  (WIN.)


I like sleep.  Love sleep.  Haven't had enough sleep in years and want to sleep for days sleep.  I hate how sleep is spelled.  It sounds like something gross and mucky and foul, not the wondrous rejuvenating thing that it is.  It's not that I'm not tired, I'm friggin' exhausted.  My brain is just driving the speedway tonight, and I have no off switch.  Even reading articles about theoretical bla bla bla didn't wipe me out, and that's usually a sure thing.  But no, Madam Insomnia has her claws in me and isn't letting go, it seems.  Tomorrow is going to be a long day.


History was made Sunday, May 1.  Usama bin Laden was killed by US Forces.  It was a remarkable moment to hear the news.  I celebrated in my living room while watching hordes of people flock to Ground Zero to dance in the streets and scream "USA! USA! USA!"  I cried.  I swore.  I felt the pain of watching the Twin Towers collapse as I was getting ready to go to my Juvenile Deliquency class at the University of Nebraska.  I grieved for the families who lost their loved ones again, and rejoiced in the fact that some of them may now have closure that the mastermind behind the insanity is now dead.  And then I thought about what comes next, and how this won't bring my husband home.  And it might make things worse for a while, both here and abroad.  And I should keep my head down and on swivel. Can I trust my neighbors? What would stop them from... And and and... 


This world is an uncertain place, but I will not live in fear.  I will not bow to those doing the work of the devil, because fear is his goal.  Screw that - I will NOT let that evil piece of filth win after his death because I played the what if game.  This is my country, the finest one in all the world. I am proud to be an American, yesterday and today, and tomorrow.  And no one can take that away from me.  Swim with the fishes, bin Laden.  I hope your afterlife was worth it.