Monday, May 23, 2011

Things I do when I should be doing other stuff.

In the interest of procrastinating (it's seriously my biggest gift), I just perused http://www.asseenontv.com.  Sweet Baby Jesus, if that doesn't make you want to drink or get a prescription for anti-seizure medication, I don't know what will.  The colors are INYOURFACE just like the pictures of the spokespeople, and if that wasn't bad enough, the featured product today was (I can't make this shit up) "CitiKitty Cat Toilet Training Kit".  AND... it's BACKORDERED, y'all.  Backordered.  Your cat will have to shit in a box like other kittehs around the world for two to three days before it learns the magic of the toilet, and aspires to be the cat on "Meet the Fockers".

Lookie!  A Bonus!

Don't worry.  There's an "easy return policy".  

I'm not sure it's not a coincidence that the following three items are next to each other:




As Seen On TV is wanting a sex kitten June Cleaver.  AWESOME.  Where's the martini shaker that fits inbetween your boobs, June?

I can't even talk about the "Romance" section.  "Better Sex" DVDs and a mini vibrator on "as seen on tv"?  On what channel was THAT?

For those of you who have vinyl as the majority of your wardrobe, look no further than the "Clothing" section for a vinyl leather repair kit.  Just in case your romp while wearing a body suit goes awry or you scuff your thigh high Pretty Woman boots.  (Just trying to help out.)

I've never bought anything off this site.  Don't get me wrong, there are a few things on there that look remotely interesting, but certainly not any of the above.  *if you do own any of the above, well, I'm still laughing.*
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5 comments:

  1. Blogging at Tiffany'sMay 24, 2011 at 4:15 AM

    I wish Ming would use the toilet. That would save me a lot of poop scooping time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Blogging at Tiffany'sMay 24, 2011 at 4:22 AM

    Uhhh..can we talk about this little gem for a second: https://www.asseenontv.com/hook-line-and-stinker/detail.php?p=293495&v=novelty

    I MAY get that for J.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMay 24, 2011 at 6:19 AM

    dude, I SAW THE VIBRATOR COMMERCIAL! It was on TLC or something nonsensical in the wee hours of the morning, but it was there! I sat there with my mouth hanging open like the RCA dog, I was so surprised to see THAT on TV!

    ReplyDelete
  4. KellyMay 24, 2011 at 8:29 AM

    Hook, Line, and Stinker has the potential to be a genius potty training tool - your kids have to sit on the toilet to play with it, the next thing you know, three hours have went by, and surely they've pottied by then! That dude in the picture scares me though.

    YOU SAW IT??? Man, I'm going to have to pull an all nighter. OR just DVR 24 hours of TLC. Do you remember what show it was on during? Like Extreme Hoarders? You KNOW they are all about as seen on tv and how RUDE of TLC to exploit their disorder that way.... "HEY HOARDERS, COME BUY MORE SHIT YOU DON'T NEED BUT WILL HAVE AN EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TOO!"

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousMay 25, 2011 at 6:48 AM

    I can't remember, but it has to have been TLC, Discovery, or The History Channel, 'cause I'm a dork! I'll check this weekend!

    ReplyDelete

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