Friday, October 14, 2011

Evidently I woke up a polygamist this morning.

My husband is so on the shit list this week.  First of all, he makes me watch The Biggest Loser, which makes me feel like the laziest schlub alive and also makes me wonder if he's sending me a message, and THEN, he forces me to  watch that fricking Fiat commercial with fricking Jennifer Lopez.  And THENNNNNNN, he rewinds it and watches it another FOUR fricking times.

Okay, okay.  I get it.  She's talented, she's wealthy, she was a Fly Girl, she's desired.  Fine.  What's NOT fine, is that she is Hubs' first fricking pick for a sister wife.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen... times have changed.  No longer do you pick "the list", you pick sister wives.

There are both pros and cons to this development.  My laziness level will increase - those sisters have to earn their keep, if you know what I'm sayin'.  We'll also probably need a bigger house.  I'm not about having 18 kids to a room.  I'm not about having 18 kids period, to be honest.  Besides, I don't think I'd be a good sister wife.  I swear, I have little patience, and I like coffee, pop, and booze.  Hmm.

Maybe we should have brother husbands instead.  Off to make my list.


  1. I'm all over the sister-wife thing. Seriously. I would obviously be the Head Wife, and those bitches better clean my house, that's all I'm saying. Also? There will be no children. We can have puppies. Period.

    My husband gets all gaga over Jennifer Aniston, which I get... yes, she's sexy, she's cute, blah blah blah... But making me sit through the worst freaking movie in the world (Just Go For It, or some such shit... it had Adam Sandler in it and was appallingly bad. APPALLINGLY.) just because she's in it, then claiming he enjoyed it??? NO. Then he carried on FOR DAYS about how "young" she looks.

    Then he said, "She's about your age, isn't she? She doesn't look it AT ALL."

    Men? Are stupid.

    End of story.

  2. @Dani-oh god, that is hysterical & awful at the same time. Your hubs is a dumb one, huh?

    @Kelly-I so want a sister wife! She can feel free to have all the sex with the hubs, clean the house & take care of the kids. I guess that's why I have an au pair. Except for the sex part I guess. I hope.

  3. Having a sister wife or 7 in the house certainly would not have resulted in me having to wake up this morning with something poking me in the back. First day all week the little one sleeps past 545 and you want me to wake up and be participatory at 7? Next thing I know he'll bring home that damned Fiat.