Sweet mother, I wish that I would be able to complete the tasks I need to in a reasonable amount of time without something getting grade A screwed up. Case in point:
Tomorrow, I have a fundraiser for our Family Readiness Group (FRG: comprised of spouses of your soldier's company to get out information, support each other, etc.). We are feeding soldiers. Cool, right? Well, I am making 200ish brownies and 30 lbs of sloppy joes - WHICH my dumb ass forgot to buy buns for - TODAY. Needless to say, I'm in the middle of a pretty good project. Which means my eyes aren't on my toddler constantly. Which would explain how I didn't notice him crawl onto the table, open my laptop, pull half the keys off, throw a couple down the vent, and feed the rest to the dog.
That led to a barfing dog. Got the keys back, anyway... unusable, but at least they came out of his mouth so I wouldn't have to go treasure hunting in the backyard.
He also ate a wooden block. Which he barfed in my room. It doesn't even faze me anymore. I'm not sure what that says about me. Also, if you were wondering, Captain Awesome found everything hysterical. Little shit. :)