Tuesday, February 28, 2012

She should have stabbed me. It would have hurt less.

Today, oh today... you had such promise. I got up early to shower and make 30 lbs of sloppy joes for a fundraiser - I planned to load up the car, go feed some soldiers, load everything back up, unpack, clean the area-formerly-known-as-a-kitchen-but-looks-like-a-bomb-range, get the kiddo down for a nap, and relax until big kid gets off the bus.


Today, for the most part went well.  We made $300, to my surprise - I didn't think we had served that many - all my volunteers PLUS some showed up (YAY AND I LOVE YOU!), and Quinn did really well. I even saw a few people I knew, and got to know some of the spouses better, which was great. Until.

Until this beast of a woman, upon seeing Quinn, asks him "What's your disability?" Being thoroughly confused, I said "He has none." To which she replied, "Oh, well, he looks just like my cousin who has Down's Syndrome."

Do not misread me. Had I a child with any sort of disability, I would love that child with everything I am, just like I do The Preteen and Captain Awesome. In fact, as you all know, I have concerns that Quinners might fall on the autism spectrum and am in the works to get him evaluated.  This is not so I can take him back and get a new kid. It is so I can get him all the services he needs and deserves.

That being said, the words she spoke to me, so matter-of-factly, cut me so deeply that I can't really even explain. I have no idea who this woman was, but she totally owned me and my feelings with a few words. I don't even know what I said to her. I think it might have been "Oh." What do you say to that? If I didn't have my hands full of 2.5 year old, my hands might have subconsciously went to her throat.

I am having a hard time identifying the emotions that are coursing through me because of a SENTENCE. I'm not exactly mad, not exactly sad, just upset and hurt.

My little boy is fucking awesome, and disability or no, he has my heart in his little hand. I have always said I would walk through fire for my children, and I couldn't even respond to this woman. But looking back, I'm not sure I needed to.

My heart just feels broken. I think I need to go snuggle my Quinners. Talk to you tomorrow.


  1. My immediate thoughts:

    Maybe she could ask "how could you possibly get pregnant with another, when this one has Downs' Syndrome?" Then you could truly feel her angst.

    My response might have been (hindsight being 20/20 and the wine being 20 proof) "Its great that you've mostly overcome your disability, if he has one, I can only hope he does as well..."

    People suck sometimes either in not-caring or in pure maliciousness. If she was naive to the whole thing, that has to be the worst because in the end she didn't feel any better being superior to you and your son.


  2. I can be there in about 10 hours for a full throttle throat punch. Direct me toward her when I arrive.

  3. I said it yesterday and I'll say it again. Punch her in the throat and run. The dumbass is a Grade A douchebag.

  4. Poor form. Truly. To just be all "what's the disability?" No. That woman not only needs a punch in the throat, but a follow up intensive sensitivity and manners master class.

    Next time, Kel. Next time . . .

    "What's YOUR disability? I mean, besides the obvious of being a cuntbag?"

    I am so sorry, babe. Chin up. You are an awesome mom, and your Quinn is the bomb. Give him extra snuggles. It will make you feel all better.

  5. That woman deserved having her head dunked in that 30 pounds of Sloppy Joe's... oh no don't mess up good food.... I mean healthy kid or sick kid or disabled kid, why say something like that?

    Stupid people drive me crazy....

  6. Wow, Kelly that woman is an idiot, there is just no other way to describe her. Do not let her own your feelings.

    I have squinty eyes and did when I was young. I remember kids asking me if I was a "Mongoloid", what an awful, awful word. People tell me my eyes are sexy now. I own it.

    I'm not sure what the moral is here, but I think it is that people can see one isolated characteristic and attach something entirely different because they are freakin' idiots

  7. You guys, thank you so much - it means a great deal to me that you were willing to throat punch for me! This really threw me for a loop and took me a while to get over. I'm still not over it, honestly. I know that people stick their feet in their mouths and don't realize that what they said could have been hurtful, but those people are usually children. :/ Anyway, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you all, just know it's an awful lot. <3