Friday, January 20, 2012

Eff today. Right in the ear.

I am so tired of us being sick!  As soon as one gets better, the other one gets it, and it is really wreaking havoc on my usual rainbows and unicorns shooting out of my ass mood.  Feverish little boys who don't sleep well but really want to play and get really ornery and their ears stop working require more coffee than I've consumed today so far.  Why haven't I had any coffee?  Because I've been busy cleaning up dumped out spit cups (THANK you, Hubs), cleaning up the above-mentioned feverish boy who thought "Oh lookie!  A puddle of goo for me to stomp, splatter, and sit in!", furiously mopping to keep said kid out of mess, pushing dogs aside rather unsuccessfully (since one got a mouthful), and then cleaning up dog barf from said mouthful.

THEN... Captain Not-So-Awesome, decided that it would be FUN to take off his diaper -which he had freshly filled with poop- and scatter it around the house.  Try keeping two dogs from eating turds, while getting a new diaper on the kid (cleaning up pee is NOT on my list of things I want to do today), trying to find all the poop, hoping none rolled into the heat vents, and eventually thinking "Well, we'll know when it starts to FUCKING REEK in here later..."

This sounds like I'm complaining.  I am.  I love being a mom and being able to stay at home with my kids, but mornings like this make me yearn for sitting in a boring-ass meeting with coffee that hasn't had a chance to get cold, or being on Facebook during work hours.  I know that soon this morning will be a hilarious memory, but right now it sucks.  And I'm out of booze.  AGAIN.

Here's to a calmer afternoon!  Have a great weekend!


  1. This post should come with a disclaimer that you shouldn't read it while slightly hung over. Still very funny!


  2. Spit cups that can even ALMOST be touched by the toddler are unacceptable. SICK!

    Does your house smell like shit yet? Hopefully not!