|Someday, Barry, you'll hit the|
motherlode. Besides, you rock
a bowling shirt much better
than Charlie Sheen, so that's
It all started with a seemingly harmless statement about how I want Barry from Storage Wars to come over for dinner and drinks. I absolutely love Barry. He's an eccentric old perv who finds the most random shit, never makes money, and is just fantastic. He also has these ridiculously awesome skeleton gloves he wears to go through the storage units. Anyway, the conversation started about Barry, but it soon led to the other characters, namely...
|Dickhead Dave. YUUUP.|
Dave. Whom I like to call "Dickhead Dave", because he's a raging asshole who will run up the price on a unit just because he can. And his "YUUUUUUUUUUUP" that he says to bid? Makes me want to poke my own eyes out with bamboo skewers, and poke him in the face with a cattle prod. People who are asshats just because they can be should be put in the town square and have shit thrown at them. And when I say shit, I don't mean stuff, I mean shit. Great big balls of shit. "LEARN SOME HUMILITY, ASSHOLE!" *splat*
|Maybe you'll find a man-bra in a storage unit|
one of these days, Darrell. THAT's the wow
factor for ya.
All joking aside, I fricking love this show. If it weren't for A&E, I really don't think I'd feel any sort of normal. Thank you, A&E, for airing Hoarders to make me clean my house, Storage Wars to remind me that I have enough shit of my own to go buying other people's crap, Billy the Exterminator to make me thankful I don't live in fucking Louisiana, and Beyond Scared Straight for parenting tips.