Friday, August 5, 2011

Dick Jokes and Hoarders

1.  I have learned that it is entirely possible to eat too many blackberries, contrary to my previously held belief.  Results are not pleasant.  And THAT is your PSA for the day, folks.

2.  I am a new fan of have a leaning towards unhealthy obsession of Investigation Discovery.  And I wonder why I don't sleep at night.  On the bright side, watching Deadly Women makes me happy to be married to a dude.  Those females are vicious, y'all.

3.  My Monday night plans now consist of Hoarders and booze. In tandem.  This way, I feel okay with my clutter and I'm too drunk to let my OCD run amok.  Winning?

4.  I'm pretty sure if I attend a movie with two certain someones again we will banned from the theater. When you go to a movie that's full of dick jokes, I don't understand how you can possibly get offended at the other patrons' own personal dick jokes.  After all, I said them during quiet parts.  Jeebus.

5.  65ish year old women who go to movies like Bridesmaids and Horrible Bosses are my heroes.  I can only hope that I stay as silly and vibrant as those women when I am their age.

6.  Rabbit turd ice makes everything better.

7.  I've come to the conclusion that my rage control issue is anything but controlled, since I am starting to make tally marks of people that need punched in the throat and/or kicked in the vag.  Oh, companies who make push-up bras and hootchie shorts for 10 year olds also go on this list, as well as the people who buy them for said 10 year olds.  Seeing a grade schooler with a cameltoe is nothing I ever want to see again.

8.  Number 7 just straight up pissed me off again.  I'll save it for another post though.  It's a doozy.  And not remotely funny, which is unfortunate for all parties involved.


  1. Laughing out loud, glad you're back to blogging, missed your humor! Saw your Mama today, said you're doing great... good to hear! Keep the giggles coming!

  2. Deadly Women is like the best show ever. I constantly make my boyfriend watch it and then go, "This could happen to you if you aren't careful..."

  3. I literally watch it with my mouth hanging open for the entire hour. While I take notes. I mean, transcribe it for the deaf... yeah, that's it.

  4. Rabbit turd ice. Possibly the best name for it to date.