Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I'm not funny today.

Anxiety is a monster.  It is a possessing nasty with red eyes, huge talons, and shark-like teeth that sink in and grip a person like a gator grabs and death rolls an unsuspecting deer.  Gators eat deer, right?  I'm not from Florida, I don't know these things.  It is like a shadow, always there and very real, even though I can't touch it.  Just when I think that things are going well, it makes its presence known - maybe just poking me a few times, or slamming me in the face with a baseball bat.

Today is a baseball bat kind of day.  It will pass, but it kind of sucks right now.  I hate it, I hate how it makes me feel, and I hate how it controls me on days like today when I need to be the best mom and wife that I can be.  It is never welcome, and always enters without knocking, and it is not making any indication that it is ready to leave.  I'd eat a brownie, but I feel like I'm going to puke, and that's just a damned waste, right there.